J’Tao - A Reflection

(AKA 3? [A progressing work]) 

It has been approximately five years since my first encounter with the One we will call J’Tao. He first came to me during one of the most confusing times in my life. I was at a, what I now dare to label superficial, crossroads; divided paths in my life were coming to an end, but I had not yet let go of them. In doing such, they lay statically in my psychological framework; hindering me from taking whole movement forward (thereby perpetuating the myth of spiritual steps, and psychological evolution). In other words, I knew that the real Truth lay in the unknown, but my mistake was looking in the crystal laden metaphysical bookstore to find that unknown; never seeing the blatant contradiction in my actions (looking for the unknown in books, which are the embodiment of the known). All this aside, and if I remember correctly, his first words were something along the line of, "You lookin’ for me?" Taking at face value a book on spirit guides I got from that ‘new age’ bookstore I was led to believe, perhaps blindly, that this J’Tao was to be my spirit guide, what some would call a personal Jesus. Looking back, I find it hard to understand how I could come to accept only these books as true, without first finding out what Truth was. Perhaps this could be an example of the unexpected Truth of the Hindu concept of peeling away ‘bad’ layers to finally get at the ‘good’ core. Self-redemption being a sort of "Karmic Orange".For whatever reason, I gave my ‘self’ up to Him, J’Tao. He acted and spoke to me like we had been aquainted for eternity. He spoke as if he knew ‘all’ that was in ‘my’ head, as if it were His own. On the surface, he spoke somewhat rapidly, yet with a gentle immediacy, and a deep sense of unselfish love and compassion that can be felt when in his presence. None of this can be accurately described in the mingling of flat words. This was, perhaps, the first time anybody had spoke to me without what I call "semantic dogma". He spoke directly to ‘me’ using words ‘I’ would use. I completely understood Him (if only verbally, at the time). Sensing all this, I threw aside my guard and listened to His ramblings intently.Non-verbatim, He said to me, "I see (sense, feel, know) where you are in life. Obviously ‘you’ and ‘I’ found each other for a reason, and I think a beautiful relationship has already begun. Now that we are here, Together, what can we do, Together, to help All? Let’s combine our talents, the ‘two’ of us, to create a ‘work’ which will be the essence of Life, Love and Intelligence. Without fear of ‘anything’, let’s work Together, Learning every step of ‘The Way’. Not letting any ‘one’ interpret it for ‘us’, but at the same time it is foolish to discard any ‘thing’ as untrue." These words came to me at a time of so much mental confusion (college, economic interdependence, employment decisions; all conflicting, superficially, with my ‘calling’) this J’Tao spoke with an unwavering clarity, putting all that disorder and confusion to rest. I channeled my ‘faith’ into His plan.He next inquired into my, somewhat untapped, creative ‘talents’. The question posed forced me to wrack my brain for a list of them. He had not paused for me, but was already spouting them off to me aloud; an astonishing testament to His, what ‘some’ would call psychic, intuitions. In the wake of this, I continued listening to what He, some ‘one’ whom I had ‘never’ met before, told me what He already ‘knew’ were my creative abilities; all in a few seconds."You fancy yourself a writer, with aspirations toward directing and producing. You have an affinity for and love of language. Not just English, but the concept of language as a form of communication, not unlike music. This will come in handy WHEN you take your writings seriously. You have in you, deep down, a true sense of love for ‘all’. But when you look at the world, you feel the needless suffering of Human Beings, sometimes seeing too much of what you consider ‘bad’. You put your deep sense of love into ‘action’ by spouting off what you see wrong with the world in an attempt to call 'others' attention to it. As practical as this may seem to you, ‘be aware’ that others may interpret this as a pessimism, viewing you negatively. I am not suggesting that you ‘change’, this is but ‘my’ observation; pointing out what ‘I’ see, to help ‘you’ remain aware of "The Big Picture".All this was coming from, at face value, a complete ‘stranger’. Yet He hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I had neither to agree nor disagree, because it was all true; undeniably. I see now that those who misunderstood me, completely or partly, were quite possibly doing this. And what better ‘method’ of change than that of true ‘awareness’, of really seeing ‘what you are’ doing, not just from your small, limited point of view, but from any, in fact all, points of view. I can think of precious few insights that strike such a deep, harmonious tone to ‘everyone’.Pondering this, I began to entertain my old friend, ‘healthy skepticism’. I remember the morals of Ouija board lore. Mischievous or ‘evil’ spirits that are seeking possession of an arrogant or innocent person, often seem ‘helpful’ at first. The Big Bad Wolf was very polite and, seemingly, helpful at first; offering Little Red Riding Hood directions to Grandma’s house, but we all know he had nothing relating to ‘good intentions’ in the back of his mind.Which brought me to ask myself, "Isn’t He being just a little ‘too’ helpful? What are His motives in taking time to ‘help’ me? Is this His self-indulgence? Or mine, possibly, if I go blindly forward? Will I be wasting ‘my’ time if I let Him continue? Or will I be forsaking a ‘golden opportunity’ if I don’t?" All this doubt brought into the picture more and more questions; all, to this day, unanswered, or rather, still being answered. But, back then, at ‘one’ moment, I ‘felt’ His motives. Not verbally, but ‘actually’ felt them. I guess some could call them ‘self’ indulgence; but only superficially. What I mean by this is that in that moment of ‘communion’, I saw that he viewed His ‘self’ as ‘no different’ than anybody else. I could even say that in a way, I felt the presence of all of mankind in Him. A devout ‘belief’ in the concept of "I am the world" and "If ‘I’ can do it, any ‘one’ can!". All this was conveyed to me instantaneously. All those fearful doubts faded away into ‘faith’ in Him, and essentially myself, and humanity in general.  The moment passed. "What next?" I thought. And before I had even finished thinking the question, J’Tao, without knowing it, had begun answering aloud. "Seeing as people tend to find a form of escape from Truth and Reality by indulging it works of fiction, many authors, secretly or not, hid their ‘facts of life’ in their ‘fictitious’ writings." "Neat trick, huh",  I thought

.-- Anonymous

Life Of Brian
  or Emotionally Constipated

(AKA Dispatches from old personal blogs)

Jan. 8th, 1998... : Well life is a tremendous thing, n'est-ce pas. Things are not as they seem. EVER!!! Time, Space, Movement. All are in constant danger of being distorted by the feeble human mind. But what is this mind really???... A seperate thing from everything else?? A soul clinging to a physical, corporial, body?? Ugly, thinking bags of mostly water?? An antenna, receiving messages from the whole network of thought and mistakenly interpeting that as a self, an I?? Or is it none of all of these?? This question has been the basis of all philosophy, religion, science, politics, entertainment and just about everyday life for each of us... I posit that the mind is a tape recorder. This is my point of view. To me, enlightenment is when the I ceases to exist as a centre. To me, the I is the same as you, we, they, and what have you, because my mind exists as a result of the obvious fact that it is being fed other peoples thoughts through linguistic, seperative, pseudo-communication. I would also posit that the self as an I, a centre seperate from the whole, is merely an illusion, a mythical story postulated by the whole of mankind. To me the human mind is a network, similar to the internet of computers, a so-called World Wide Web Of Thought.. When we attain what some would call enlightenment. The self would seem to cease to be the centre of existence. I wouldn't put any static, practical, definition on what happens then, but I metaphorically use the number 3. 3 shows up in life just as much, if not more than, 2. But most of us, because of language or whatever, have based our view of the world on 2. Ying and Yang, black and white, good and bad, right and wrong. They are all balanced by something, the invisible third, 3. 3? The bridge. The part that sees through both 1 and 2 to see the conflict between them and is not part of either because it is all. This operation is, to me, intellegence. You are the world!! In your head, if you "kill your 'self'", is the whole of mankind. There is no you apart from the whole conscienceness of man. That is a tremendous thing. And when you see it, really see and feel that fact, that you, yourself, are the whole of man echoed, so to speak. Then your small pointed view of my hurt, my sorrow, my happiness, drops away to see everything in the world as you, and the whole... In essence, you can finally begin to really surf the net. While most of us are stuck reading our homepage over and over and over and over.. No wonder so many are bored with life.. You can surf the net and read the whole of mankind (term of speech, women of included, no superiority is implied), or sit at your terminal, reading your homepage day after day.. Join the Great Link. But see also that the Great Link is still life as all know it. Clarity in you will echo throughout the whole of man, changing the world mind forever. To me this is an obvious way to see the world.. But remember this is only this computers point of view. Thuth is a pathless land. But if I say that, is intending to not have a path a path in itself?? Or because all of this is thought, is it all still part of the illusion of self decieving itself that it doesn't exist, when it doesn't in the first place?? A dog gnawing a dry bone, which makes his gums bleed, creating the illusion that he is getting blood from it?? Find out for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't listen to me except to use it to clarify your own personal/impersonal perception of NOW!!!! I am the world. We are the world. The hurt the world (i.e. deforestation) we hurt ourselves. Kill a tree you kill me. I am a murderer. I am a saint. I am the president. I am God. I am the world...